My New Normal

           Earlier this evening when I went out for a run, it began to rain.  In all honesty, that’s my favorite time to run.  The rain has a beautiful way of hiding the ugliness that exist in this world.  When it rains, people usually slow down and pay more attention to what they are doing.  The rain has a way of making you slow your pace and observe the world around you.  It makes flowers grow and gives you free car washes, which is usually a good thing unless you just recently washed your car and paid $14 for it!  The harder it rains, the easier it is to drown out the world.  It’s easier to hear yourself and have a moment to reflect. 

            With all this wildness going on, I feel like I’m in a movie.  My days are blending together even if I’m still working.  The rest of my life except for work has been put on hold.  I know I’m not the only one having these feelings.  The whole world has stopped.  We don’t often get moments like these; so, make the most of it and get to know who you are.  Do that project you’ve been wanting to do.  Clean that garage.  Organize your cabinets.  Start that hobby.  Write that book.  Read that book.  Fall in love with your partner again.  Even though most of us are stuck inside, you must not let this moment pass you by.  You’ve heard warnings on the news and social media to stay inside, head them.  It’s important to keep yourself and the ones you love safe.  You never know who you might harm if you happen to become infected. 

            I’ve been working at the convention center in downtown Fort Worth.  It’s been turned into an emergency shelter because the shelters here cannot house them all while adhering to the social distancing requirement of six feet.  It’s been a wild ride so far.  Some days are calm where nothing goes on and you just get to talk to the patients that are housed in your unit.  I’m in the Isolation unit.  This unit holds those who are either showing symptoms of COVID-19 or are awaiting results of being positive.  Once they’ve been confirmed, they’re moved to a more solitary unit, as to not possibly infect anyone else.  Other days are more hectic and include things like an overdose or seizures.  These days, as stressful as they may seem, I welcome, because this is the very reason, I wanted to be in the public health field to begin with.  To help those who cannot help themselves.  Those who want help but don’t know how to start.  Those who look at you like you handed them a winning lottery ticket, just for giving them a blanket.  Those moments make life worth living. 

            Most days I spend talking with these patients and get to hear the stories. Oh, those stories fact or fiction, help me with waking up in the morning and showing up each day I’m scheduled to be three.  These “undesirables” or “expendables” that often go unnoticed by society because they don’t have a roof to call their own, have some of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever heard.  If only the world would listen.  Maybe one day, I’ll publish a book from their perspective and stories. 

            Wearing scrubs, a facemask, full PPE at times has now become my new normal.  I went from testing people for HIV and educating them on harm reduction.  Giving people the tools, they needed to get into recovery if they wanted and going to health fairs to make people blush with my carefree and crass approach when it came to talk about their sexual health; and now I am mostly listening.  Listening to people share their lives and their fears; their worries that keep them up at night.  I welcome this change gladly and hope to be there with them for as long as I’m needed. 

            Be kinder, especially now.  The world needs it.