21

Today you would have been 21. It's crazy to think what you would be like. Would you have my attitude? Would you have your great-grandma's laugh? Would you have your grandma's smile? As emotional and caring as your aunt Ro. I often find myself thinking about you and where you would be in life today. Would you be the advocate and compassionate person I would hope you'd be? Or would you be as stubborn and independent as your aunt Patsy. Either way, I'd be so proud of you. 

So many birthdays have come and gone since I got to hold you in my arms for those three minutes, before the doctor took you from us. I knew that day I'd never see you again, however, that never stopped me from thinking of you. From every belly rub I gave while in your moms belly; and song I sang, horribly out of key I might add! I hid you from the world for so long because the pain of losing you was so great that I knew I would die if someone mentioned your name. Thank goodness that your mom was really different and gave you some crazy Romanian name, I had never heard of!

Most importantly, would you be proud of me? I live my life with a strong point of view and often go against that social grain that sometimes makes people think I'm angry, when it's my passion that keeps me from settling from those days gone. I hope you're up there smiling at the man I've become.

I don't know where I'd be in life if you were here, but I do know I'd be that dad that would plan you a crazy 21^st birthday and try to stay up with you all night! However, as soon as midnight came, I'd be so dead tired that I'd pass out standing up! So I'm wishing you happy birthday from afar. I hope you can see I'm down here keeping your beautiful memory alive. I love and miss you so very much my Alierah.

Happy Birthday

-from Dad